…

…

Here comes the best summer of my life… Or the worst.

-d.

Sad today

Oh god. I don’t know what happened. I was chillin’ at cairo, and yeah, numbers didn’t add up and i felt like utter shit. Fuuuuuuck. Like, im so stupid i cant manage one day’s income. I screwed up. Again. What the hell is wrong with me? How can i be trusted if i keep gettin things wrong?

Whatever. The point is i feel like shit tonight. And i cant shake the feeling off. And i’m really sorry i keep fucking things up.

-d.

(blow me a kiss, i’ll be happy the rest of my life)

I’m OK.

Anoche me dormí gritando. En mi cabeza. Quería que alguien me hiciera caso. Hey. Hey . Hey hey hey heyheyhey estoy vivo! Oyeeeeee! Hola!!

Hay alguien ahí??

HEEEEEEY háganme caso!

Así. Me sentí sin razones ni consecuencias. Tenía muchísimas ganas de ser notado, de que alguien me dijera oooooye, estás aquí, cómo estás, sí, sí, vas por buen camino. O hell, que por lo menos me dijeran que no la estoy jodiendo tan terrible como creo que la estoy jodiendo.

Porque en ese momento, en esas horas en las que intentaba dormir, tenía la sensación de que estoy haciendo todo terriblemente mal, de que REALMENTE no tengo idea de cómo manejar las cosas, de cómo interactuar con el mundo real. Soy manos de mantequilla, soy Big Bird.

Pero yo se que no hay espejo mágico. No hay ni tiene por qué haber alguien que me diga cómo voy. Yo lo tengo que averiguar. Y cuesta trabajo, pero tengo que enfocarme en lo positivo y deshacerme de lo negativo. No estoy seguro de que esas dos acciones se puedan al mismo tiempo, y no estoy seguro de que se pueda hacer la primera sin antes hacer la segunda. Y no estoy seguro de poder hacer la segunda, porque me duele mucho y cuando volteo mis ojos hacia adentro me quedo ciego.

(el primero de enero escribí mi primera entrada de blog del mes, y hoy 31 de enero escribo la segunda y última. Je.)

-d.

Top 25 most played 2.0

1. a wolf at the door (it girl. rag doll.) radiohead.
2. they are night zombies!! (…). sufjan stevens.
3. black star. radiohead.
4. special needs. placebo.
5. the night starts here. stars.
6. take me to the riot. stars.
7. mad season. matchbox 20.
8. 3 am. matchbox 20.
9. im like a bird. nelly furtado.
10. side. travis.
11. yankee bayonet (i will be home then). the decemberists.
12. japanese gum. her space holiday.
13. starlight. muse.
14. pink ego box. muse.
15. nothing better. the postal service.
16. house of cards. radiohead.
17. me vs maradona vs elvis. brand new.
18. tiny dancer. elton john.
19. paper bag. fiona apple.
20. backdrifts. (honeymoon is over.) radiohead.
21. true love waits. radiohead.
22. the irish keep gate-crashing. the thrills.
23. drops of jupiter. train.
24. expectations. belle & sebastian.
25. soco amaretto lime. brand new.

Five months have passed and not much has changed on my 25 most played. i didn’t do a count reset so some songs have just built up counts since. whatever.

i just thought this might be mildly interesting.

this time there are more embarrassing songs. whatevs.

-d.

nothing much.

So yeah, I guess I haven’t had much to talk about lately.

I recently re-watched the Godfather trilogy, and I still rank them 1, 2, diarrhea, 3.

And well… That’s about all.

-d.

Podcasts.

So, they switched on the LHC. They tested it. Testing alright. Days later the thing broke. No biggie there.

Whatever.

I want to use this little free time I have to talk to you about a little thing I love doing. This thing I love doing is listening to podcasts.

Podcasts are, basically, internet radio-on-demand. It’s radio shows (generally talk shows, there’s also music shows but I don’t listen to them). So you see it there on their webpage (or in the iTunes store, it’s easier that way) and you click on them and you download them and you listen to them. Piece of cake!

I like them because they’re perfect for “niche” information. If you want a show that’s all about videogames, you have plenty. If you want a show that’s just about two dudes talking, you have it! I guess it’s easier to explain with examples. Here are some of the podcasts I like to listen to:

-The Simply Syndicated Network. This bunch of podcasts are done by a (ever expanding) group of british guys and gals. Some of their shows are Books You Should Read, Movies You Should See, The Definitive Word, Richard and Allison’s Super Happy Fun Time… Well, they have plenty other shows, but there’s no poin in naming them all here. Each podcast has a very specific topic which is sometimes adressed. Simply Syndicated is known because of their tangents, so you might get a The Definitive Word episode named, for example, “The End of the World”, but it will be mostly a group of friends having a good time, talking about stuff slightly related to the end of the world. The thing about Simply Syndicated is that you really have to be on the mood to enjoy them. Otherwise you’ll just suffer through them. Unless it’s one of their more serious shows. Most people say the shows make them feel better, but I find that, if I’m not already happy when I start listening to it, I’ll just hate it.

-Skeptoid: Critical Analysis of Pop Phenomena. This podcast is awesome. Each episode is about 10 minutes long. The show is about taking a topic and looking at it form the skeptic point of view. For example: UFOs, the monster of Loch Ness… That sort of thing. The show is incredibly well researched, and well… If you are at all interested in critical thinking, this is a good place to start.

OK I just realised I can’t do this all in one go. There are about six other podcasts I’d like to talk about and I don’t want to bore you guys. So I’ll just leave it here and pick it up later on.

-d.

the LHC and your mom

SO

Wednesday is the day when the Large Hadron Collider is going to be switched on, and I’m pretty excited about it. What will they discover? What new knowledge can we obtain from it? Are scientists all wrong, and will it show nothing?

There are so many questions!!

I hope it’s something really important. I want to know, man! This is history!

Anyway, I know I promised I would talk about what I did over the summer holidays, I know. I’ll do it, eventually.

Not that anyone cares :)

-d.

will you be there?

In our darkest hour
In my deepest despair
Will you still care?
Will you be there?
In my trials
And my tribulations
Through our doubts
And frustrations
In my violence
In my turbulence
Through my fear
And my confessions
In my anguish and my pain
Through my joy and my sorrow
In the promise of another tomorrow
Ill never let you part
For you’re always in my heart.

(M. Jackson)

-d.

try to understand.

OH MY, HELLO PEOPLE!!

So the last few days (weeks?) I have pretty much done NOTHING.

OK, that’s unfair. I’ve actually done a few interesting things, and I’ll tell you about them. Lucky you.

So first of all, I wanna talk to you about this little movie I watched the other day. David Cronenberg’s The Fly. It’s a pretty awesome movie, I should say. Before I knew this movie was Cronenberg’s, I had no interest in it. What. So. E. Ver. BUT, when I heard -read on IMDb- that it was his, I couldn’t wait to see it.

And it’s not like I’ve watched a lot of Cronenberg’s films. Actually, before watching The Fly I had only seen A History of Violence and Eastern Promises. Not in that order. But I really loved those movies, so HEY THE FLY LETS WATCH IT.

The movie is pretty gross, but in a really cool kinda way. There’s a baboon at some point, and the nastiest thing happens to it. I was amazed. I won’t say more.

Well, The Fly was a very entertaining movie. Nothing deep or important. Just a lot of fun. Gross fun.

My biggest discovery, though, was Jeff Goldblum. What a great actor!! You really feel all his emotions, through his face, through his eyes, you can really see what’s going on in his mind and you buy it.

OK ENOUGH ABOUT THE FLY. Let me tell you a bit about what’s been eating up most of my time. It’s basically three things: Books, Podcasts, and a videogame.

Since any one of those could deserve it’s own post, I will now end this one with the promise of more to come. Hopefully in the next few days I’ll have some time to write about these things, because I think they’re important. At least to me. And that’s what this blog is all about.

-d.